Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
