You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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