Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
