you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's official drugs can't kill me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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