piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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