We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
