Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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