I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
