There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
