I am puke
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize