Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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