I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
