tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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