I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
