whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
only if we run a train.
done.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
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