You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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