I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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