we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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