I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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