then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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