He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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