Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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