Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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