remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
