Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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