Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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