All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
