please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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