Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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