So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
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He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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