I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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