The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
