i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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