don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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