Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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