goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
