Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize