Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
