We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
