i just google imaged poop.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
