Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
