were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
