sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
