his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
