we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
A+ Viking dick
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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