The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
