I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
