ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
