yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You have to summon your inner elephant
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
