just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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