Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
