i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
