If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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