is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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