you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
