I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
