How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
