pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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