Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
