I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
