sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
