...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
