My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
