I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize