Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Someone signed my nipple.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
