OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
