SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
